


Black Marshmallows

by cherrytruck



Series: The Birkin Files [5]
Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Because starvation can make you OOC, Bugs & Insects, Campfires, Gen, Getting Nausea, Laboratories, M/M, Science, Semi-Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 14:01:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9184855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrytruck/pseuds/cherrytruck
Summary: Birkin and Wesker end up being locked in the laboratory for days with no food and then the situation takes a bit of a dip.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oudeteron](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oudeteron/gifts).



> Full disclosure, I'm not familiar with Resident Evil besides all those internet memes. I kind of wrote this as a prank so don't take it too seriously...

“It’s no use. The door still won’t budge.”

The two researchers had somehow ended up locked up in Birkin’s lab for three days as a result of some kind of technical failure. To Birkin that made no difference – he didn’t know a life outside of his lab, really, but Wesker was in the room with him and clearly he wasn’t as accustomed to the place. That, and the two men faced the issue of lacking any food and other much needed facilities in the past few days. Birkin didn’t realize there was always some poor lackey who was the one delivering his meals for him until now.

Birkin filled up his glass vial, normally used to mix all kinds of viruses, with the tap water that fortunately still seemed to work, and then drank out of it. “I’m sure help will come soon enough. You should save your energy until then, Wesker.”

“It’s been three days! And since you never come out of this place except every few weeks, nobody’s going to realize we’re trapped!” Wesker was clearly agitated from his prolonged fasting – the loud grumble from his stomach soon made that rather apparent.

“Oh. You’re hungry…”

“Wow! You should get a Nobel prize for discovering that.” Wesker usually always kept his cool in front of Birkin and if anything, he was usually the one losing it in front of the man in shades. Birkin guessed he clearly didn’t eat enough if he wasn’t fussed by the lack of food – not like a normal person, which at this stage Wesker seemed to have more resemblance towards. “Do you seriously not have any food left in here?!”

“There’s the cheese sandwich I purposefully let grow mouldy so I could test the T-virus on the specimens…”

“Brilliant. I forgot to mention that food needs to be edible.”

“Oh…” Birkin had an idea – it was a bit odd, but perhaps it would finally give Wesker something to stop complaining about. Birkin went out into his boxes of live specimens and took out the one containing leeches. They still seemed to be wiggling around in their container. Good, that meant they’d be eating fresh tonight.

“William, what are you…”

Birkin took out a pair of metal sticks and set up a Bunsen burner at his desk. He then held up the sticks like some kind of child about to go camping and smiled at Wesker. “Have you ever eaten insects before? If that’s not your thing you can pretend they’re marshmallows. Reminds me of the time Sherry and I made a campfire for her birthday…”

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Wesker looked away, trying desperately to go back to forcing the door open. Well, despite Wesker being arguably more ruthless than him, Birkin began to feel like perhaps he was the more disgusting between the two of them.

Oh well. He was starting to feel peckish himself, and picked up an unfortunate leech with his bare hands.

**Author's Note:**

> BONUS PART:
> 
> Finally the door opened when whichever lower-down employee was delivering Birkin’s food supplies – which was supposed to be daily but clearly they got the hint that Birkin had a messed up eating schedule – was due to give him a new batch of flat sandwiches and realized the door wouldn’t open. Wesker exhaled a huge sigh of relief and instantly grabbed one of the unappetising sandwiches to eat.
> 
> “Oh my! How long have you two been in here for?”
> 
> “Too long…” Wesker could barely say as he desperately put the pieces of bread into his mouth like some kind of beast.
> 
> Not that Birkin fared any better – his head was still in the sink thanks to the fact that his body didn’t quite like the idea of him eating the lab-bred bugs that only God knew what kind of toxic chemicals they had been exposed to all this time. “Ughh…”
> 
> “Um…is Dr Birkin all right?”
> 
> Wesker grabbed another sandwich. “I think he might need medical attention.”


End file.
